Saturday, September 08, 2007

This past Thursday, I had a mildly intense encounter. I saw a car pull up in front of the house and I was able to see a man going through several sheets of paper before exiting and approach the front door. My first thought was to ignore the man since his arrival is unannounced and he was unrecognized. That intention was immediately changed when I saw something dangling from his neck in the form of some official ID.
The man wanted to confirm that Bob did actually live at this address and he was currently at his day program. Next he wanted to ask some questions about Bob and asked if he could come in. I saw no problem at the moment so I did invite him and I then identified myself as Bob's caretaker. As it turns out, the man arrived mostly to speak to me about Bob's care because he was from Adult Protective Services and a complaint against me has been processed.
At first, I was stunned to be accused for abusing Bob. So I cooperated with the man with such politeness and control. I could feel the adrenaline surging because of the flight or flight sensation. During our conversation he explained he was not allowed to reveal the source of the charges against me; but, he read the list of complaints. It was then I knew who made the charges: Bob's father, Robert. I felt more control coming back and I replied to the agent I knew who was making the complaint. He was surprised I was able to make the connection so I explained Robert's history as best as I was able.
The conversation was overall pleasant enough since the agent was becoming more convinced the charges were bogus. He did a brief inspection of Bob's bedroom and was satisfied also. He commended me for my care for Bob for so many years and recognized it is not always such an easy task. One thing I did notice was that he was not interested with the daily details of care; only that, the care was given and decent. He departed assuring me that I was basically cleared of the charges; but, policy required investigations regardless of the source or outlandish claim. He gave me his business card and made a parting joke and I did feel some sense of relief even though the adrenaline was coursing through me at full.
Because of Robert's mental instability and belligerence, it has been decided he will never again be allowed to visit Bob at home again. A neutral setting as the mall will be the site of visitation. Robert was given all possible and reasonable accommodations when he came to visit Bob. There was never any time limit and there was never any interruptions. The call of abuse was totally out of line and only because of some stupid act of belligerence and hatred of me and this family. He is totally unaware of how much care I provide for Bob, yet he has the audacity to claim abuse. The claim has destroyed any further visitations to the home because it is only a matter of time until he makes another claim against me.

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